Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
that may or may not have been my penis.
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