Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
