Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
