Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
