I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
