dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
