PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
