we have pet lesbian snakes
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
