He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
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Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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