dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
