shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
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