Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
