fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
he's single and there are thong briefs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
