needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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