I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
