i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
