rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
