Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
