My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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