she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
