i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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