we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
