I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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