Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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