let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
