It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
