She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
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i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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