i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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