Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
