I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
