Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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