dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
