There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
