U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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