dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I cockslap morals
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
