the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
