I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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