you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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