I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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