Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
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Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
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We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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