Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
