We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
