Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
