Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
