If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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