he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
