You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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