halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
