my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
