My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
