our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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