Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
