Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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