..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
