and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just cropdusted the office
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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