let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
