community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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