**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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