is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
