I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize