Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude i'm inner monologue high
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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