Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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