bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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