I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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