Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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