Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
