I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
