Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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