He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize